As can be expected from such a hateful group of people, we receive a fair amount of hate mail via email... Who would be surprised since Hummer owners obviously hate the planet, other drivers, and their friends and family.

Subject: H8
From: Dan
Original E-Mail: Is this real? If so, where can I purchase one? I like to run over kittens and this seems like the right tool for the job. I dont care about the MPG. I like to measure my fuel usage in kittens per tank. Can you calculate this for me? Thanks.

Our Response: It's as real as our hatred for the environment and everything that is good in the world. The Hummer H8 actually comes with an extra guage that displays KPT, or kittens per tank. The catometer is going to revolutionize the automotive industry and help your local SPCA at the same time! Hey, PETA, spay & neuter THIS!

Subject: --
From: Greg J
Original E-Mail: Ibet you tree hugging commies wipe your asses with pine cones!

Our Response: Hummer owners don't need to wipe their asses - We save it, bottle it, and sell it as perfume at Macy's.

Subject: H8
From: Jambia
Original E-Mail: Get a fucking life

Our Response: Can I have yours, Internet Tough Guy?

Subject: i can't get a hummer, so i hate those who do.
From: ryan
Original E-Mail: Toyota trucks and suv waste alot of gas, but putting a hybrid in your line-up makes up for it, as does for all the U.S jobs they have kill off. So we can't feed our selfs or our familys. Factory close, crime, killing, rape, but at least i save one gallon of gas by driving my hybrid and then buying cheap China crap that was haul by boat (fuel)then by a semi (more fuel) and go home to watch Nascar (tons of fuel) or baseball,football, ect.. where they fly them all around for 10000 game all season.

Our Response: I'm confused - Do you like Hummers, or not? Anyway, you will never see a hybrid Hummer H8 - are we not American? We are the most wasteful, cold-hearted, sons of whores on the planet! We want more U.S. jobs! We want more overweight people sitting around doing nothing and getting paid for it! We should open more factories even if we have nothing to build! Crime, killing and rape are good! But we ask that you wait 30min after eating. We want to lead the world in crime, killing and rape, and we need your help! You can start by watching more NASCAR!

Subject: hippie assholes like you
From: aron hoffman
Original E-Mail: u fucking hoe bags, u little tree hugging hippies who have nothing to do but complain about politics and enviorment while sitting on ur ass and just criticizing, nothing more. no i do not own a hummer. but u guys r insane, go to the mental hospital and get some help plz!more and more everyday more idoits like u keep being discoved like fuh2 and many others, i mean how retarded to u want to look, well if u want to look really retarded, flip off a car! then u can get the attention u want since u never get any, make a hate website. ect, u know the drill assholes. god save us all from people like u.

Our Response: What does Jesus drive? He drives a Hummer because he hates you! So, are we tree hugging hippies, or bags of garden tools? I'd prefer garden tools. Who wants to get dirty hugging a tree anyway? That's why I bought my Hummer H8 - So I wouldn't have to go near the wilderness and those God-forsaken trees! Lastly, did they not teach you how to spell the word "you" before you dropped out of third grade?

Subject: The site
From: John Hummer
Original E-Mail: Well well well, this site sure does suck. And why is it that you must bash against a fine organization? My assumption is that this site is run by a bunch of dumb anarchist hippies who smoked pot throughout their younger years, and thus are now completly fried and cannot comprehend one plus one without a large-digit calculator. This website is horrable, and those who set it up should be in shame.

Our Response: I am ashamed. I'm ashamed of my tiny penis. I'm ashamed that I need to compensate by buying a Hummer. I'm ashamed that I'll never experience the love of a woman. I'm also ashamed that because I spend so much on gas for my Hummer, I'll never be able to afford pot or be able to buy a calculator. At least I have the comfort of knowing you're in the same boat as me!

Subject: --
From: Joe
Original E-Mail: All I can say is FAG!!! What a queer...

Our Response: Damnit, how did you know? I got a Hummer H8 so people wouldn't think I was gay... I know that's why you bought one - I think it's part of the sales contract...

Subject: H3
From: Gary L.W.
Original E-Mail: Your website is amusing. Do you know I get about 16mpg in my H3? NO I didn't think you did. Duh! My old Explorer only got 12-13 mpg. Get a life grow up and get some balls you looser..c ya wouldn't want to be you!

Our Response: I wouldn't want to be me either... I only have a 3" penis & that's why I need a Hummer. But, I'm more of a man because my Hummer H8 is bigger than your H3. Do the math... oh that's right you drive a Hummer H3 - let me spell it out for you: H8 > H2 + H3.

Subject: Hummers
From: DennisAJC
Original E-Mail: You go girl! We nned more support for the Hummer brand! The cool thing is that they will always win and keep fucking the earth and nobody will stop them/us. We love your site! Dennis

Our Response: Thanks for the kind words. I love you too. Oh, wait, I remember you from that rest stop bathroom the other night... You were the one w/ the penis so small, it made my 3 inches look like a monster!